Merch for women who fall asleep to homicide documentaries.
Apparently half the female population sleeps better hearing Keith Morrison describe a dismemberment than listening to rain sounds.
Honestly? I didn’t know y’all were this organized.
I accidentally started a nationwide group chat..
I made a video joking about my girlfriend falling asleep to Dateline every night. I thought women were gonna be offended.
Instead, thousands of y’all showed up in the comments like:
“Keith Morrison is my lullaby.”
“Forensic Files puts me right to sleep.”
“I crochet while listening to homicide podcasts.”
“My husband thinks I’m plotting something.”
Dana got WAYYY too excited realizing she wasn’t alone. I got mildly fucking concerned. So she designed official murder slumber party uniforms for all of you little nighttime detectives. Consider this a peace treaty. I’m an ally now.
Emotional Support Homicide Collection
Keith Morrison Is My Lullaby
Because apparently a calm Canadian man describing a triple homicide is better than melatonin.
I Crochet and Watch True Crime
The official hobby package of women who can simultaneously make a blanket and solve a murder before the detectives do.
I Watch True Crime So I Don’t Commit One
Honestly this seems healthier than bottling things up.
For women who can identify the killer before the second commercial break.
Y’all need therapy.
But apparently not BEFORE bed.
.jpeg)
Some women journal.
Some women meditate.
Some of y’all turn on interrogation footage, grab a crochet hook, and drift peacefully to sleep listening to a husband named Gary deny everything for 47 minutes.
And apparently that’s normal now.